october 5th 2--9

"When beauty was in season, and danger by a reason, a great love with no one, today I woke and my spirit was gone."

When danger ruled by treason,

and loved passed by for no reason,

sometimes its great loss can't stay by accusation,

time slips it slopes it goes between the ropes,

a being holding back is like a being lost within the ages

the sun rises, you sit. the sun sets, you rise

the times come.... the times will continue to

a matter of fact

hurt is

hurt will

hurt continues

gain is

gain will

gain continues

solitude is

solitude will

solitude continues

vastness is

vastness will

vastness continues

so long my friend, there must always be an end

(ignore this)

Eiki LC-XT3

ok here it goes no set goal... no real reason to be writing a blog... this is an experiment.. wait dammit now its a set goal because im just wrtting to write to see what comes out.. BASICALLY what this is , is me talking to myself (not out loud) *got caught up on how to write "out load" but im just talking in my head and going with the flow.. if i run into a stale period or i cant think of something to write about.. that atleast interests me enough then I will stop.. haha GREAT now i keep thinking about stuff I should think about.. and going from there.... SO ok karma, karma is a crazy mother f-er that will kick you in the balls steal your car and start dating your ex-girlfriend.. and thats karma in a nutshell ladies and gentlmen.. Now im thinking should i correct the spelling errors or just keep going as if they never happened.. As you can tell there are no spelling errors thus far but thats because im correcting them as I go.. hmmmmm the dilema.. i really like typing on my work computers keyboard makes me feel like i can type really fast atleaaaast a billion words per minutes.. I think thats a record?? Ha .........ok maybe not that much.. but wearing a watch which is as clunky as mine makes it hard to type (just took it off) *awwwe thats better.. these-->* are me talking to myself yet directly to you THE READER.. and I dont think that makes sense but it does to me and... thats alllllllllll that matters at this moment.. *just scratched my head. Just got a text from a girl whom is in high school and shes obsessed with me.. and now my work phone is ringing.. I NEVER answer is unless its my boss haha.. OH SHIT just realized i need to go play a DVD for the marriage enrichment weekend.. yeah.. if you have to pay for a weekend to enrich your marriage i think your marriage has got some "FUN" issues.. but hey its non of my business to judge.. WHATEVS.. alrightso just started the DVD for the happy couples.. speaking of married couples had one of those deep just one on one around a fire pit drinking a beer or two conversations with a buddy of mine.. and we talked about out of who of us (my close guy friends and one girl) would get married first and what we would be doing in 10 years.. AND REVISON I just typed out what he thought i would be doing.. but i decided that i dont want to share that with you (the reader) not because im imberresed but because.. once its out there then im gonna feel like thats the future for me. .and to be honest i dont want to know mine.. ok done

kinda sucks

Just came across this little gem of a picture... and a little part of me flat out died.. WHY oh why you ask? Well ill tell you why... This kid is just FLAT OUT UNADULTERATED EPICALLY COOL.. I mean look at him!! this kid is what 4 or 5, 7 tops and he is already ohhhhhhhh about 20 times cooler then I am.. and I'm basically 21 aka an adult.. oh and to top it off this little bugger is Australian .. pshhhhh this is a sad, sad day for me... wow.. im like borderline depressed but for sure bummed out haha... this kid better cure cancer or something, or win a couple academy awards for best lead male.. geez.. wow... ok DONE

currently.. LAME

Anxiety follows with announce follows with Evin being STUCK

things that aren't helping me out of my current mood

Anxiety Factor 1-10
1. Meh whatevs
5. Ok.. i can keep it cool, but its there
10. My brain wants to jump out of my head


1. The Zune

Now its like me to throw such a device that brings such joy to me with my car rides, runs, or daily shower, but COME ON.. the program that comes with it (just like your typical itunes) is sloooooow it offers everything but it makes it pretty hard to find that "everything" with how its search engine works and who is recommends.... on my anxiety factor it ranks at a 6.8

2. The Big 21











As none of you know -1 person I am turning the "it's all down hill from here" age of 21 in approximately 14 days... now as I am awesomely stoked beyond belief for this joyous journey to the land of sin..But my family/guests aka friends are ever so slowly sucking the fun out of it.. The being in the dark of where im even staying and who's exactly coming its helping me and is most unboudtably freaking me out..
Location. TI (treasure island) ..rumored.. one room 2 queen beds
Guest List Forsure: me, raul, ryan, mars, jesss
Guest List Maybe: mike, jbone, sam, breana, michelle
Guest List family: dad, uncle t, uncle ken, aunt sue, jeremy, prego becky(uncool), and random cousin of my uncles that ive only met once?
On my anxiety factor it ranks at a 7.9 basically an 8.0

3. Ducks

My "passion" in life as some have said.. do i agree with this YES, but do I want to be known as just having A professional hockey team as my one passion in life.. NO.. but we can talk about this on a later blog.. My Ducks.. after getting their heads out of their water tight butts.. made it to the playoffs and ABSOLUTELY DOMINATED the first place hella hyphy hella retared Sharks of the bay area.. So now second round bigger and better.. the Evil RedCoats aka Red Wings.. arch enemies YES.. hatred toward the team and its fans YES.. and can we beat them/have we beat them? YES.. will be beat them tomorrow.. DONT KNOW and that kiiiiiillllls me..
on my anxiety factor it ranks at a 9.4

4.Her



















Its just her job.. it was one of the many reasons i believe God decided to put on this green earth.. but all bullshit aside (she loves it when i curse) i dig her.. and allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll her problems, fears, quirks, annoyances, screwiness, beliefs, mind games, beauty (inside and out), scheduling, humor, control issues, predictability etc etc etc etc
(just by me writing this down and now with her reading it I can tell her heads filling with warning signs)
on my anxiety factor it's a fluctuation from 1-10 on any given day

5. Me



















Because lets face it under this super manly, chiseled body, ingenious geniusness, undeniably talented, hilariously clever body.... i kinda need to stop being me and start being new me
(but as me and myself and I? know.. saying and doing "night and day"
On my anxiety factor it's a 55 (thats not good)

OK thats not me...

here's me

It's weird....
almost border line scary to think that this logo.. this TEAM, and what it means to me and how much time and emotion it has inflicted out of me.. I'm not saying this is bad thing by no means... but i was just kind of reflecting, and 06-07 season/year (when they won the Stanley cup) has been or was the best year of my life thus far.. Is that pathetic in anyway? Part of me thinks that.. but the other part is my memory for it/of it.. and the great times that just came from a group of 25 odd guys that make HOCKEY TEAM.. I mean, with all of my friends(literally ALL..reason being WE LOVE THE SPORT OF HOCKEY), my Dad (without this team, his and I relationship wouldn't be where its at now.. and that i do mean in a bad way) even girlfriend at the time(she put up with fanatic-sizm(not a word i know))...it was just a BIG deal in a small way I guess? But.. even now the emotion, my emtion is crazy! They win I'm stoked they lose.. don't talk to me, I'ts just of one of those kind of deals?
... its weird I will be the first to admit it.. Going off of that, being at the game is just like this HIGH, I'm not one to really just let go, and show my emotion.. thats just how I work.. But, at the games.. this unnerving, massive, thrilling, passiony raw feeling just evelops over me... Its a high, a rush, its something real...

So, yeah.. I just kind of felt like putting this down on 'paper', and yes I know I'm crazy.. but I dig it

Quack, Quack, Quack
E

1.

Question! Statement?

Has it ever seemed as if your musical device being an ipod or zune or some other contraption that can hold music basically and solely narrates your life practically to a tee.. Now bare with me, there are some lope holes, but then again when aren't there?

1. Its gotta be on shuffle
2. you have to have atleast 1000 plus songs
3. you have to let it play itself out(meaning let the song play all the way through!)
4. you have to be in a position where you need to make a decision in life
A. needs to take a turn(up, down, left, right, forward, backwards )
B. needs to let go(good. bad.)
C. just needs an answer
D. just needs a sign

now if you listen.. i mean really listen.. I believe somebodies trying to tell you something

now who or what... that answer is up to you

but think about it... for me...

E

it's

"funny"

how

meager

things

can

completely

eclipse

ample

things

1. in
   
2. my
   
3. mind

dinning room tables

Many of you dont know me..
Many of you wont know me..

& most importantly

Many of you wont read what im writing..

But for the few selected/choosen people
Who will be joining me on this wild ride called "life" and will reading my blogs or essays or entries need to realize..
1.i go with the flow,
2.i will rarely have a set goal for what im writing about or trying to convey to you
3. i most likely will go off on wild tangents..
4.i cant spell(thank the good lord for spell check)
5.i will most likely controdict myself, make myself sound very dumb, or wont make a whole hell of a lot of sense
5. punctuation?
6. i dont like to capitalize "i"

ok..
i feel good about this...

E